God's Plans vs. My Plans

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

My two favorite parts of this experience here at Tenwek are the Sunday morning church services and all of the discussions that occur, whether they are just between Emily and myself or with the visiting staff or local Kenyans.  Today, those two things collided in only a way that could be from God. 

 I know that as far as school is concerned I came here to learn medical skills, but for me it was more about learning a different way of life, growing as a Christian, and hopefully figuring out where God is leading me in my life.  Over the past few years, I have struggled with trying to determine where my life goes after school.  You see, I am an organizational type of person.  I plan.  I plan short-term tasks and I plan long-term future events.  I used to have everything all planned out: 1 year after graduation, 5 years, 10, 25, and so on.  The funny thing is God has his own plans and His plans do not always match ours.  God spoke loud when letting me know that what I wanted did not match with His plans for me.  At first, I was scared and a bit timid to listen.  Then one day, while sitting at church in Lexington, a video played of missionaries who had helped in Haiti after the earthquake and I finally listened to what God had been trying to tell me.  (Lightbulb!) That’s what I was suppose to do!   I was to use my position as a PA to do medical missions and I was to start by going to Africa.

Phew! I finally had it figured out. What a relief!  But wait…. What about my family and friends?  Where do I live?  Do I get a job in the US and do short-term missions or is this supposed to be long-term mission work?  I always thought I would move back home because family is so important to me and it’s probably one reason I had such a difficult time listening to what God was trying to tell me.  Through discussions with people here at Tenwek, I have found that I am not the only one who struggles in this way.  (It really helps to know that Emily is a planner, too I.  I may have found my match in who is the biggest planner!)   It is strangely comforting because I do not wish for others to feel such an internal battle but it puts me at ease to know I am not alone.  During one of our talks, someone mentioned how God creates each person a certain way with particular characteristics.  We would not be planners if it wasn’t how God intended us to be so it is not a bad thing.  God knows our inner thoughts and desires always.  We just have to pray for our desires to match God’s desires and to remember to have open ears and open hearts.

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. – Proverbs 19:21

Today at church the preacher continued his series on spiritual gifts and preached about adjusting our lives to God’s service.  God wants the best for us and what’s best for his ministry.  He will not lead us down the wrong road.  He did not lead Noah down the wrong road in building the ark, but he helped Noah to understand and adjust his life so that he could do this great thing that was needed.  What a great message!  Sidenote: We also got to sing some praise and worship songs in Swahili today.  I am beginning to love this language, even if I can’t pronounce it all right yet!

This entry is a bit of a personal, journal-type entry, but this is the journey I am on here in Kenya so I feel strongly to share it with others.  I still haven’t got it all figured out, but the wonderful thing is that somewhere along the way I began to trust in God a lot more, the way I should have always trusted, and my fears do not consume me.  My faith has become such a large part of my life that fear has no room.  I still hate the question “Where do you plan on working after graduation?” because there is no answer yet.  So I answer honestly, “I don’t know yet” and I am okay with that.  The organizational freak on the inside has finally learned that the unknown is very exciting and I look forward to learning where God’s path leads me.  I am ready for this journey!

God bless you on your journey!